Big Fish

Most blogs that I choose to read showcase attractive people who spend money on things I find relevant- travel, good groceries, cute kids and cute clothes. Damn. I am shallow. Who am I kidding? I've known that for a long time.

It's clear that this blog is none of those things. I complain about my home life and refrain from making too many acerbic comments about others.

Unless their kids are babies or their youngster has just been diagnosed with autism, people don't write about parenting problems. Holy rollers do I have problems. My kids went from being perfect and cool and awesome to being normal. It sucks.

Our son told another lie tonight, and it is so disappointing. He forgot his math book at school. Instead of telling me the dang book was at school, he copied some work from an old notebook onto a new sheet of graph paper, then showed it to me to check. Mind you, I have no clue how to check his math methods- just solutions. They do some crazy things these days, and I'm not just trying to sound old. It is obscure stuff. I even took 3 years of advanced math in college, and these methods are obscure!

Unluckily for him, I asked to see his math text book. It couldn't be found anywhere. Even though he had just used it a mere minutes before, it was suddenly gone. We tore up the house in search of this book, and then I started to get mad. Then I decided to not trust him. Then I looked in an old notebook, and I found that he had copied the assignment as if it were a new one. Well, I didn't have to look. He was careless enough to leave it open to the page he copied.

It took an hour before he admitted that he did copy the assignment. Are you kidding? An hour! He was trying to argue that sometimes math books repeat the same exact questions. Ha! Grandpa wrote math textbooks, and as soon as I reminded him of that, he knew that lie was a bad one.

And we had to be all hippie about it so he wouldn't turn it against us and make himself feel like the victim. Ugh. "Why do you feel like you need to be dishonest?" I had to say in a kind voice- while in my head I was screaming, "So, I have a liar for a son now? What's up with that?!" But no, I was all gentle and counselor like.

The worst part about it is that he still has not admitted he left the stupid book at school. "But Mom, you didn't tear up the house for nothing. The book is still lost," he said. Sigh. I can't believe this. Still hanging onto that threadbare lie.

"Well, if it is at school, where would it be? ...Just in case it is there by accident," I gritted my teeth and asked sweetly. Then he told me it would be in a basket by his teacher's door. He's 12. Is this okay? I think not.

I am so bummed out. Last night, I caught him plagiarizing a persuasive essay. I read his work and made some kind of sound effect, and he said, "Oh, sorry I sound like an NPR reporter. I just wanted to sound smart." I challenged him, but he swore he didn't copy. Again, he would not fess up about it, insisting that he wrote this essay in his own words.

"Dude, let me show you a little trick of mine," I said. I cut and pasted a sentence from his essay into Google, and the first hit was the article where he lifted his content. His face fell.

Man. So many lies about school. I don't even know how to deal. I have his phone and iPod, and I took it without even saying anything. Who knows what's the right thing to do? Not me. Parenting is hard.

I Disagree

There are still good things ahead, but better? Humph. That doesn't honor the past.

T is having trouble walking now. I know he is too stubborn to tell me, but I see him hobbling. We went downtown for an appointment, and it was rough getting from the parking space to the building. He doesn't ask for help; he just limps along.

Last night, he had a dream that I got tired of him. I was walking too fast and too far ahead of him. He was trying to get me to talk about it, but I was not listening to him. 

Man. That sucks. It will never be true. I have to make an effort to slow down, relax, and be cool. I do rush around and spaz out to keep my mind off of things- and to avoid problems and work. I'm afraid if I stop for too long, my emotions will consume me.

Day to Day

Things are taking a turn around here. Hate it. Wish I could do something to stop it.  Tom's getting more and more tired and achey, and he's crabby, too. I used to think the crabbiness proved he was getting better (back to his old self), but these days it's because he's hurting.

One of the kids is back to his chronic stomachaches, and I got an e-mail from the other kid's math teacher. He skipped a section on his test and is concerned he's not getting the content. Sheeeeeesh.

I haven't gotten more than 7 hours of sleep in the past two days. Fitful nights in bed make for painful mornings.

Even though I know I should be happy for every single day, I just feel like my head is submerged in a vat of nacho cheese. Have you seen that on Tosh.O? I love his sports challenges.

Anyway, whatever. I need to work out these feelings. Otherwise, life will pass me by, and all I'll have to show is depression.

I'm Alive!

We're trying to get a home equity loan, and today we got a phone call from the bank. I've been so worried about my "deceased status" according to GE Capital Bank (wrote a post on this here) , so I've been dreading the call. Turns out, we got approved for the loan, and everything's fine. Well, it's fine for them. I don't know if it's because we have a credit union or what, but their offer is not so enticing.

I am the most frugal person you'll meet, and my husband is the most practical. We live way below our means. Seriously. We drive old cars. All of our friends (and I mean that literally) make car payments, and most go out to eat at least twice a week. They hire people to do menial tasks, do spa treatments, and take some sort of lesson- be it music or dance. Yes. Adults. Couple that with enrolling their kids in multiple sports and lessons, and they are spending like crazy.

Us? Not so much. Well, we do spend a lot on medical bills, but that's a necessity. Our kids are enrolled in no more than one sport and one lesson. They do one camp over the sumer. We do not have iPhones or any type of phone w/internet access. We keep it simple because... why not?

You know what? Our friends still like us. Our kids are still smart and fit and awesome. They have a lot of friends. No one cares that we don't do the same things as them.

Whew. I better get off my high horse. Back to the loan thing. We are going to find a better deal. Is that even possible? I just never want to get caught up in scrambling to afford a lifestyle. Just because we can afford something doesn't mean we should afford it. I can't imagine not being able to buy or do whatever I want because I am locked into a loan payment.

It's rude to talk about money, but at least I'm not talking about cancer. We're in the chemo off time anyway:)

Sigh

This is my 200th post. I was going to put some consideration into it, but then reality got in the way.

Someone very close to me and also my family passed away this weekend in a stupid accident. I just can't believe it. This is the first young person that my kids have ever known to die. In fact, the only other person that they knew who died was an elderly customer from our coffee shop.

"Well, I think I can take something from this tragedy. I should just be happy with today," I told Tom.

"No shit. I'm living proof of that," he responded.

Ouch. I feel almost stupid or shallow or rude for not being able to recognize him as an example. Oh well. Nobody's keeping score. We did have a good conversation after that. We always do. That's one thing that we do well, and it's talking and making jokes. 

On the house front, we are in the process of trying for a home equity loan so that we can have our garage rebuilt. I am so freaking out about whether or not they will discover the error that I have been reported as deceased. I have a blog post about that somewhere in the archives.

For dinner tonight, I did a less bad version of bacon and egg spaghetti (spaghetti alla carbonara). I used 1/3 whole wheat pasta (mixed in w/the white) and turkey bacon. It was still delicious. One key thing is to use a bit of the pasta water in the sauce.

That's all I have for post #200. RIP to my young friend who passed. You were a cool kid and solid adult. My boys still adhere to your mother's rule of no tv, computer, or video games during the school week. Thanks for that.

Stupid, Stupid Prom

Part of my sour mood is because of tonight... prom. Of all people in the world, I am in (co)charge of the whole thing. This is wrong for the following reasons:

1. I do not care about prom.
2. While people think I am chill, really it's that I am pretty disorganized and do not care.
3. I do not care about prom.

There are adults who are more excited about this type of event than they should be. Unfortunately, they are not at my school. I keep waiting for someone to take this job of senior class adviser from me. Alas.

The students are supposed to be the ones who plan it all, but let's be real. They're teenagers. In case you don't know this, many teenagers don't follow through with their intentions.

So, yeah. I hope it doesn't go down like Carrie.

We had to call off the whole prom court deal due to voter fraud. People were voting for themselves multiple times- for both king and queen. Stupid! They didn't even disguise their handwriting.

This post is boring, but this photo from my prom is not. I made us anonymous just in case he sees this and tries to sue me or something. Sorry if it is creepy looking.

So, this d-bag and I went to prom together after my boyfriend and I broke up. (He ended up dating my best friend and taking her to prom. Nice. He wore sneakers with his tux, though, and he looked like an ass.) That guy, my date, told people that he had sex with me on prom night. Of course it wasn't true, and of course no one believed him. Gross. In my case, it paid to be prudish. Really it was because I did not like anyone at my school all that much. I don't think I set out to be all that chaste. Who knows, though? Oh, and that guy's glasses were fake. He wore them to appear intelligent. He told me that later. If I saw him at a reunion, I would probably vomit. I remember him shoving his tongue down my throat during a slow dance, and I had to pry his face off of me. Disgusting and humiliating.

Salt of the Earth

I am sorry, but I do not care if your husband's brother had cancer. 

That means nothing to me. 

As wrong as it is, I don't even care if your own sibling had cancer. 

You didn't have kids with your sibling. You're not married to your sibling. 

I don't understand why people try to relate to me. It's not like these stories are inspiring. In both situations, the people died. 

Thanks.

Do they want me to feel sorry for them, or are they thinking that they know how I feel?

I am an a-hole because people are nice and good and want to help. But in my defense, I shouldn't have to be nicer than I usually am. I'm just a salty woman.